Fidelity is More Powerful than Success

Fear of commitment plagues us. This stems from a fear of the unknown, a fear of what might or might not be. The high school graduate has a degree of trepidation about college. Is it the right university for me? Will I be up to the academic standards of this college? Have I chosen the right field of study? What if I hate college life, what if my roommate is a jerk, what if I hate my classes? The college graduate has similar fears. Will I find a job in my expertise or will I end up waiting tables? Am I really ready to do the job I’m being hired for? Will I be able to pay off my student loans?

It is much the same for those who are preparing to marry. Am I marrying the right one? Am I marrying for the right reasons? Will our marriage last? Will both of us be faithful? Will we choose to love each other until death? Am I ready to be a wife and mother? Am I ready to be a husband and father? Men approaching ordination to the priesthood suffer similar fears. Have I studied hard enough and do I know what I need to be a priest? Am I certain that I can be obedient to the bishop? Can I live a life of Gospel simplicity? Can I live a life of celibacy? Am I holy enough to be a priest?

These commitments to a college, to a career, or to a vocation all entail big decisions and even larger uncertainties. Is the average priest holy enough? Not by a mile. Is the holiest of priests holy enough? Again, not by a mile. Are most men ready for marriage? Are they ready to be fathers? Not exactly. We can say the same thing for women regarding marriage and motherhood. Yet men and women have been marrying and becoming parents from the beginning of mankind. Men have been ordained to the priesthood of Jesus Christ for two millennia and to the priesthood of Aaron for another twelve centuries prior to Christ. Our ancestors, however, were not much more prepared than we are for meeting the duties and responsibilities of our particular vocations.

Despite the fact that many others have gone before us and were able to do what was required to fulfill their vocations, we still fear what lies ahead. In a certain way we really don’t fear the particulars of what may happen in the future, we fear that we will fail to handle the situations that life will throw at us. In other words, we fear not the future. We fear failure. Imagine how the Apostles feared when Jesus announced that He was going to leave them. Whether it pertained to His death or His return to the Father, the Apostles would be left behind to continue what Jesus had begun. The Apostles knew that they were not Jesus, they were not divine, they were totally unworthy, and they were utterly unprepared to spread the Gospel throughout the world. After Pentecost the fear of failing did not stop the Apostles in their mission.

Yes, the Apostles did fail. How often was St Paul thrown out of a synagogue, how often was he chased out of a town on account of preaching the Gospel. He failed to convert the majority of the people he evangelized. But did that make him a failure as an Apostle? We hardly know anything about what the Apostle Bartholomew achieved in spreading the Gospel. Does that mean that Bartholomew was a failure?

In the eyes of the world, the answer is yes. What about in the eyes of God? Does God measure success like we do, does He demand success in the same way the world does? Absolutely not. All we have to do is ask what God will say to those who make it into heaven. In the parable of the talents, the Master says “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy” (Mt 25:23).

The Master does not commend them for being successful but for being faithful. But there is more to being faithful than just believing. Jesus challenges us saying “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (Jn 14:15). So, being faithful means that we have faith in Jesus, that we love Jesus, and that we obey Him. However, none of these are measures of worldly success. More importantly, none of these – faith, love, and obedience – is beyond our control. We may not be able to be perfect husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, single people and priests, but we can be faithful. It is entirely in our power – aided by God’s grace and empowered by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit – to have faith, to love God, and to obey His commandments. So we really should not fear worldly failure, but we must fear being unfaithful to our calling as disciples of Jesus.

—Fr Booth